Babies...And Fur Babies….

So I have been talking a lot lately to my friends about their pets and their kiddlywinks. And I thought I’d write a quick post on how I’ve gotten on with coping, and to be fair with how my first born have coped with the introduction of my human children into “their” home.

I’m an absolute animal mad crazy nut. I was raised with hundreds of animals, literally. My Dad never said no. It was like he was the animal whisperer. I was allowed to rescue everything , from hedgehogs to rabbits to baby birds fallen from trees. I would bring them all home, and my Dad would build shelters or huts for all of them. I even had a baby jackdaw live in my bedroom for 5 years. We were country bumpkins , enjoying the good life. And we had more pets than the local pet shop. It was quite the menagerie. We had parrots, macaws, rabbits, dogs, cats, guinea pigs, fish, doves, mice, ferrets...and so I’ve always just loved animals. I would have pets up to the rafters even now if my husband wouldn’t divorce me...but he is at his limit!

I’m the first to admit, that before I had my children I would refer to my pets as my babies. Yes I refer to myself as their mummy. I do the stupid voices and spoil them all rotten. In the years before I had children, they really were the hugest part of my daily routine. They were allowed to sleep on my bed in the daytime whilst I was at work, and my dogs were always walked twice a day without fail, I dressed my cat up to look like Simba...hey I look at it this way, my maternal instinct had kicked in and I was just preparing….

I was also a little naive...I was that person who said...”Oh I have dogs, that’s just like having kids” (side not PahHAHAHAHA...PFFFFHHHHHHH….its not...its most definitely not…) But at the time I thought, it was similar because you have all this responsibility and you have to feed them, exercise them, love them. Hey it was good prep…but hindsight...well hindsight is a wonderful thing...and I now have 2 dogs and 2 babies in the loo with me everytime I pee..so there’s definitely similarities...

I always said, the pets come first. They wont be ignored just because the baby arrives. They are part of this family. And, that to be fair, hasn’t changed, that is still my main goal, it’s just some days its easier to achieve that, than others!

But when I was pregnant, we became very aware of the pets. That was one of our main focus points all of a sudden. And you noticed it everywhere , once it was in your mind, all you saw in the papers was ‘dog attacks baby’, ‘viscous dogs’, jealous dog bites baby’...Suddenly it was all I could think about...Will they behave near the baby? Will the baby be safe near them? Where will the dogs go when the babies on the floor on the activity mat? Will the cat smother the baby to death in the moses basket? Your mind just leaps from sensible queries, to mind boggling hormonal emotional madness because you realise, that his baby inside you will be coming first. Their needs will out weigh all others. And that your beloved pets that have been there with you through thick and thin ...are in fact...now lower in the chain ...no fault of there own, it is just the way of things.

So we have 2 dogs. A small yappy jack russell, and a stupid , anxious ridden, fearful French bulldog. The jack russell is true to her breed. She barks at the postman, she barks at everyone that walks passed the garden in fact....she licks everyone to death and she plays fetch 7 hours in a row without stopping.

The frenchie is rare for his breed. He is petrified of strangers. He shakes, growls, barks, his haunches go up...he can look menacing….scary...loud..he hates children...and is really strong so when he decides to go, he really needs holding back...(and yes I took him to dog training for 2 years with no result apart from the handler telling me ‘anyone else would have him put down by now’...)

This was obviously going to be a problem.

Now, our dogs are the perfect dogs at home, neither show any aggression with us, never have. I brush their teeth, they sleep on my lap...they are teddy bears...with us….So I was of course worried how they would take to a baby. A baby that to them, moved oddly, always smelt of food, and would be down on their level making odd noises, screaming or crying in their face. Time to prep.

So firstly, we got organised. Dogs were now always kept in the kitchen. Barricaded away so they didn’t have the run of the whole house any more. We decided to do this for about 4 months prior to baby coming. They would then hopefully not have their noses put out of joint, thinking they’d been punished by the baby’s arrival.

I played you-tube noises of a newborn wailing at various points in the day...yup….i really did that…I actually rapped my ipad in a blankie as though I was swaddling a baby so they could come sniff round me when the noise started and check it out.

I sprayed the cat with a water spray every time he jumped in the moses basket so he soon knew he couldn’t go in there.

We felt ready...our parents and friends were still concerned for us, mind you, as they’d seen our Frenchie misbehave...but we felt we had it in hand. I really thought deep down that my Frenchie loved me, and my baby was going to be an extension of me, that would smell like me so I thought , ‘you know what I think he’ll be OK’.

We introduced them slowly. We let them sniff the blankies. We let them sniff round the baby individually. We always kept them away at food times, as food was a trigger for them to misbehave. We never left them in a room alone with them as newborns...you never know…

And….

They were both better than OK. They were incredible. They love our boys. They play, they lick (sometimes too much that is something we need to keep working on…) They never barked , they’ve never growled at them. They never got anxious around them. They just accepted them from the get go. I feel we have been incredibly lucky in this regard given the dogs previous temperaments. I know lots of my friends that have had to part with their 4 legged beloveds because they haven’t accepted the baby or its just too much hard work trying to keep everyone happy. And the baby at the end of the day, comes first. I am so grateful its worked out this way. I think because we took the time to ease them into it, we did it slowly and safely, and sensibly. It allowed them to have an established routine, prior to baby, it really was no skin off their nose when baby did enter their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the dogs don’t get a walk in, or I don’t remember to feed them tea till 9pm at night and I feel guilty as hell. But behaviour wise, they’re my boys best friends. They get to eat all the toast crusts, and have little people to chase and follow all day long. I love watching their relationship develop, and to hopefully become real animal lovers like me. And to be one big hairy crazy family.

And yes the cat still sleeps in the crib...